Making a good first impression is essential in many social
and business situations, so learn the proper way to shake hands. This gives you
the opportunity to establish your friendliness and accessibility. Practice with
friends or family members before you start shaking the hands of strangers.
Remember that people often initially judge you by your handshake, so make sure
it shows your confidence and pleasant personality.
Occasions you will need to shake hands:
- Initial introduction
- Job interview
- Seeing someone you haven’t seen in a long time
- Greeting guests when you are the host or hostess
- Greeting a host or hostess when you are the guest
- Saying goodbye to a friend or business associate
- Whenever someone else extends his or her hand
1. Know when to initiate the handshake.
The person in a higher position of authority or age should
be the first one to extend a hand. For example, if you are interviewing for a
job, the interviewer should be the one to take the lead. When meeting future
in-laws, the father-in-law should start the handshake.If you make a mistake and
initiate it, don’t withdraw your hand because that would be rude. Always follow
through with a handshake. Smile and continue with the introduction. Don’t
apologize.
2. Stand and look the other person in the eye before shaking
hands.
If you are sitting, rise before extending your hand. This
shows respect and puts you on the same level as the other person. Make eye
contact and offer a sincere smile to show that you are happy to be where you
are.Be still and face the other person to prevent giving the impression that
you are in a hurry to get away. If you are walking, try to stop, turn, and face
the other person, unless it creates an awkward situation.
3. Offer a greeting before and during the handshake.
If your palms are damp, you can delay extending your hand if
you introduce yourself while blotting your palm on the side of your slacks or
skirt. Your greeting should include his or her name and a pleasantry, such as,
“It’s so nice to meet you, Ms. Jones.” If you have more nice things to say,
include them at this time, but don’t go overboard. In order to remember the
other person’s name, you might want to say it several times during the
conversation: once during the initial handshake, shortly afterward, and again
while shaking his or hand before you part ways. This will make a very strong,
positive impression because people like knowing you care enough to remember
their names.
4. Your handshake should be firm but not crushing.
You don’t want to offer a limp hand because it gives the
impression of weakness. However, this does not mean you should crush the other
person’s hand. Be firm but not overpowering. If the other person offers a limp
hand, give a gentle squeeze. This can be a cue for him or her to grip more
firmly.
5. The handshake should be approximately two to five seconds
in duration.
Most people prefer shorter handshakes. Be observant and
follow the lead of the other person, particularly if he or she is in a superior
position to you in business or social position.If the other person continues
holding onto your hand longer than five seconds, politely withdraw your hand.
Maintain eye contact and a pleasant expression afterward to maintain a positive
interaction.
6. Be aware of your other hand.
Most people use their right hands, unless they have a reason
to use the left. Ideally, your left hand should be visible and unclenched.
Don’t have your left hand in your pocket because this appears defensive. In
most business situations, you shouldn’t use your left hand to touch the other
person’s arm or cup his or her hand. However, in a personal setting, you may.
7. Shake hands in an up-and-down motion.
The handshake shouldn’t go back and forth or side to side.
Don’t pump the other person’s hand more than three times, or the greeting may
become very uncomfortable.
DON'T :When Not to Shake Hands
The first rule of thumb in handshaking is simple: Never
offer your hand first, at any time, or in such a way, that makes the other
person feel inconvenienced or uncomfortable.
With this rule in mind, it is not a good idea to be the one
to initiate a handshake:
- 1. With someone of higher status (let them approach you or make the first gesture);
- 2. To break an awkward moment of silence when being introduced to someone new (a proper handshake should also involve conversation);
- 3. If you have nothing to say to the person (a handshake is an invitation for conversation or desire for social interaction);
- 4. Someone whose right hand, arm, or shoulder, is clearly injured, or they need their hand to support their weight with a cane or crutches; or
- 5. If the other person's hands are full and a handshake would require them to shift items from one hand to another, or to have to put things down.
